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I've been seeing words like toxic and narcissist being past around like joints on 420 y'all! I have been reading a lot on human behavior of psychology, healing your inner-child wounds, emotional intelligence, etc.

 

I was checking my notifications on social media and the 1st video from a Red Table Talk episode played at the most aligned time. I added the 2nd video from my own research from the same therapist, Dr. Ramani.

Here is what the videos touch on.

 

Definition of a narcissist:

A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.

The definition in the therapist's own words:

Someone who lacks empathy of others.

 

You are more likely to be a narcissist if one or more of your parent/guardians are one.

 

Definition of empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

The definition in the therapist's own words:

How am I affecting others through my words and actions?

 

Please if you know others in narcissist relationships, do not become their therapists and do not judge their situation to lack your own level of empathy. (Stay away from your own levels of narcissism.)

 

Three reasons many individuals stay in narcissists relationships is:

Financial reasons, custody of children, and self blame or justification that you should be the one to do better so you stay to play that role for your partner.

 

People who are in a relationship with a narcissist are the only ones who have the ability to rescue themselves. You can offer an ear, resources, etc. In the end, they are the only ones who can choose to leave, you can't for them.

 

People with narcissistic traits, do not feel remorse when you tell them all the ways they lack empathy.

They feel remorse when the thought of how you perceive them is not in a positive light of themselves.

 

Narcissists will show you love and admiration when it is convenient for them.

Using words such as "never" and "always" are words that should not be used in our vocabulary since they fall under narcissistic language.

 

Best advice for those who have family, kids, bosses who are narcissists and you can't just exit yourself from their life:

Do not feed in to their energy or words, keep your energy calm but remain strong on your boundaries through verbal communication, do not engage in arguments or long drawn out discussions, and take some breaths while reaffirming your boundaries mentally. You got this!

 

Best advice for narcissists:

Every time you speak, every time you're with others:

Be mindful, aware, empathetic, compassionate, respectful, reciprocal, pay attention to how you're affecting others, and genuinely care what their going through. You got this!

 

 

Thank you for the wisdom, Dr. Ramani!

Gratitude!